I know, I know, it’s been awhile. And I’ve been busy, what with school and work and actually attempting to have a social life beyond the computer in my bedroom. Fun fact: I got a call from Australia last week, commending me for focusing on my studies instead of blogging.

I’m breaking my silence this week because 1) I miss writing to y’all and 2) I had to share… of course I am still thrifting and finding neat and random things to wear. 3) Also I am tired of analyzing Renaissance poetry. REALLY.

Two weeks ago I attended a booksigning for the lovely Winona’s new book, Closet Confidential, where I got my autographed copy and enjoyed some sparkling apple cider at Mabel & Zora.

Me and my sister at the Closet Confidential party!

Shiny, right? I was ecstatic to find an appropriate party to wear my sequined dress to. The drive home in the rain-slick, lamplit dark night was super fun, as every stoplight we drove through made a mini disco-ball-fueled rave in our old car.

On the subject of sequins, they are among my new favourite things. I mean, we’ve discussed how much I like sparkles.

I am wearing my silver sequined shoes everywhere, even though my feet get wet in the rain.

And yesterday, on an unexpected Goodwill run, I found this little number:

I’m thinking: luncheon with my great-aunt, afternoon tea with The Duchess…

So it happens. And I feel kind of like a dork for Writing A Blog Post about Surviving My Very First Week Of School, but that’s how I roll. I was filled with way more anxiety about returning to school this year than I was in previous years, it boils down these three things:

1. I’ve been in community college for what feels like an eternity now, and this was my first week at University (finally!).
2. I met someone, who now lives far away. University means we can’t talk as much as we have been these past few weeks. (Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!)
3. All the girls downtown wear sexy boots and tights and dresses and ivory-carved necklaces and I have to catch a bus, a train, walk 12 blocks to get to campus AND then run across campus halfway through my day and sexy boots, tights, dresses and ivory-carved necklaces just don’t really fit into those wardrobe choices, right? I have been making do with my brand-new (for the term) graphic tees and my ever-trusty plaid shoes.

I am very excited and also dreading the coming term. I have two literature classes and a history class, which means I will be doing gobs and gobs of reading and also gobs and gobs of writing. Hopefully I can get past my initial hatred of doing work of any kind and find a way to enjoy the inevitable work I will have to do.

Because I don’t live on campus (though I would love love love to) I can’t quite wear the fascinating boots and skirt combinations that 99% of the girls on campus here wear, but I can make my own attempts with flats and my own cute tights. I will post an update on that next week!

This might not mean much, but to the people who know me, this is a rather big deal. I love purses.

I have a fair amount of purses. Purses are pretty darn awesome. I have a blue one, a yellow one, a red one, a velvet one, a few black ones, a brown one, one covered in spots, one covered in Newspaper print, one covered in clocks and one covered in patches.

I always have a purse. And have bought at least 3 purses in the last three months.

But this post isn’t about purses. This post is about Sunday. On Sunday I returned home after a long week, and made a fatal comment to my Mother:

“I kind of want to go shopping.”

I’m sure you know what that means. We went shopping. Too much money spent later, I am now the proud owner of several new pieces to my wardrobe, and also some new porcelain bowls to further organize my jewelry collection.

I wasn’t looking for a purse, but you know, you wander. You look. You end up in random sections of the store, perusing rugs and wondering if you need a new hallway runner to, I don’t know, liven up your living space.

And thus, I found myself in the dress section, when all of a sudden, I was assiailed by the shimmer of a thousand sparkling lights! My eyes blinked and I shook my head at the glimmer! What is this, this shiny and shocking sight?

Why, it’s a dress.
That’s my size.
That is $10.

Do I really need to explain what happened after that?

Like most of my purchases… I have no idea when I’ll wear it. My current plan is to wear it on Halloween, along with a flashing globe necklace, and an iPod/speaker hookup blaring “Funkytown” by Lipps, Inc. (I’ll be a DISCO BALL! So clever, I am.)

So… yeah. No purses this week, like I said.

…or else I spend it eating a solid pound of homemade guacamole, but you know how these things go.

BUT ANYWAY. Dear readers, when the Plaid Trend started appearing in my store last fall, I am not going to lie to you–I scoffed. I laughed. I rolled my eyes and wondered whether looking like a Lumberjack was back in.

So when the plaid started coming in waves of neon yellow and bright orange, I snickered. When the designers started adding random ruffles to said neon yellow and bright orange plaid dresses, I sniggered.

And then, one night, after watching the Ugliest Fashion Emergency I’d ever seen grow for six months, I sat bolt upright in bed and held my hands to my heart in shock because I realized that I liked it.

I liked it a lot.

And I wanted it.

Thus began my determined quest to find a cute plaid dress to, I don’t know, prance around like a billygoat in. My desired colours were jungle green or bright blue, but alas, no matter where I went, the other super cool, ugly fashion loving ladies had always beaten me to what I wanted.

And then, one morning at Ross, while I was struggling to decide between the leggings that said “PEACE” on the butt and the heavy-knit giraffe printed kaftan, I saw it.

A red plaid dress.
With ruffles.
In my size.

I would like to state right now that I am apparently The Blessed One when it comes to shopping, because this is the third shopping experience like this that I’ve had in the last 3 months, and it is amazing. Hopefully though, this doesn’t mean that I have to Save The Fashion World or Take It By Storm or something because being a hero is hard and also I have a blister on the back of my heel, do you have a band-aid in your purse I can borrow?

Anyhoo. I snagged that $10 dress up in an instant and decided to try it at work last week.

Pictured: me, in The Matrix. Not pictured: prancing around like a billy goat.

I paired it (ha!) with a pair of black leggings (because otherwise, HELLO CHOCHA) and my wide black belt. I also wore my red-heel-flipflops which I should probably get rid of but I love too much to do so.

For the first ten minutes I wore it, I felt like I was wearing my Grandma’s nightgown. You know the kind, right?

And then, for the next ten minutes, I felt like I should maybe have an axe or eat some pancakes.

But after the twenty minutes (which I like to call the “Time Of Doubt”) I felt like a rockstar. A night-gown wearing, maple syrup craving, axe-wielding rockstar.

So, the plaid trend? What do you think about it? Like I said, I both love and hate and don’t know what to do with it, but it’s fun and snazzy. I’m honestly just hoping that houndstooth, gold detailing and big shoulderpads come back in soon so that all of my recent goodwill finds will not go to waste.

Hair accessories.

Now, keep in mind that the last time I had long hair, the only kind of hair accessory I would tolerate was a rainbow scrunchie, and that when I graduated from high school I cut my hair so short all I needed to know was what number the razor was. Needless to say there wasn’t much going on in the way of hair accessories, besides what colour I had dyed it that week.

So, I hopped on the train into the Big City, and went to the two stores I knew could guarantee me some fabulous new hair accessories on the cheap.

Claire’s and Forever 21.

I’m completely ashamed to admit that I got suckered into spending $30 at Claire’s. First off there was this cool necklace that I liked, and then I found 2 pairs of earrings, and you know, since they always have this deal where you get like, 1/2 price off the third pair, or free, or whatever, I had to get a third pair and that was almost $24 before I even found the hair accessories in the back of the store.

Tricky bastards.

Also, I fully admit that I was rude to the shopgirl. As someone who works in customer service, I understand the fact that you’re just doing your job, but I also am a customer service worker who respects people’s space. I let you tell me about the sale as soon as I walked in the door. I declined the use of a bag. What more do you want from me? She seriously followed me around for 15 minutes repeating the same four lines over and over again, until I informed her that she was being rude. I could have done so nicer, but by the end of those 15 minutes I was a wee bit irritated.

So, I’m sorry, Claire’s shopgirl. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, but please, please, please remember that I’m not just a Customer, but a Human Being who can get irritated and yes, I heard you the first time when you said that all hot neon pink things were on sale WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP NOW.

(inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale)

Regardless. I found quite a few cute things there, at this place swamped with day-glo encrusted 13 year old girls, including but not limited to this black rose headband:

$5.50, but if you buy one you get another one for half off, OMFGGGGG

I love it! The camera doesn’t do it justice–it is, in fact, completely sparkly. Kids, if you don’t know anything about me, know this: I love sparkles. Everything needs more sparkles. The WORLD needs more sparkles. Sparkles are fun! Sparkles are cute! Ilovesparkles.

When I had my aforementioned short hair and I had dyed it black I had 2 bottles of sparkle hairspray (rainbow sparkle and silver sparkle) that I would wear every single day. Some days, it would just look like I had rainbow-coloured dandruff, or that I was prematurely graying, but it was worth it to know that my head was encrusted in sparkles.

Anyway, it’s sparkly, and I love it. After draining my bank account at Claire’s, I doggedly hiked over to Forever 21 and promptly found this lovely bow/feathered headband:

$6. It makes me feel like a flapper. I love it.

Isn’t it lovely?! As much as I love the sparkly rose headband, this one is much better for me because of my dark hair. I have a feeling that the rose headband will get stolen by my blonde older sister and she’ll rock it so hard I’ll have no choice but to give it to her on a permanent loan. This happens quite often, and is one of the reasons why I often tell people that I’m adopted and that my real family is coming to claim me from Germany soon.

If you’re wanting a totally awesome hair accessory, but would rather order one from my favourite website (also known as etsy.com), there are so many options out there for you!

The Pretty In Pink Hackle Feather Headband: $16 ; Addy Lady Amherst Feather Hairpiece: $30 .

Vanessa Red Guinea Feather headband: $10 ; Turqouise flower on a double headband: $10 .

Yellow Prarie Rose hair clip: $18 ; Cream Hydrangea with black and white guinea feathers: $15 .

…and many more! I’m so on this hair flower boat, while I was at Forever 21, I picked up a rose clip or two.
What do you think?!

I haven’t really decided yet if you’re supposed to wear them all together or not.

So… Next week I’m going on vacation! I don’t exactly have to catch a plane or a boat or a train, though I am going to brave the ever-terrifying bus ride back allll by myself and let me tell you, re-reading Winona’s experiences with that bus service did not help my terror at all.

But regardless!

This is a photo of me and Savvy, my friend who lives Far Away who I get to go visit. We’re going to enjoy many days in the sunshine, maybe spend some time on a boat, and most likely spend a good chunk of our time (and money) at flea markets and antique stores.

I’ve been meaning to purchase a really nice, expensive swimsuit online for this trip, but because of my work schedule and my easily-distracted personality, (Hey look! Shiny things!) I just recently came to terms that I waited too long to do so. I didn’t really have the time to go swimsuit shopping, so I contented myself with casually looking through the reject-bathing suits in the fitting room and wishing I could find the perfect one.

What were my requirements for said perfect bathing suit?

1. My size. (Sometimes hard to find, sadly.)
2. One piece. (Tankini?! HAHAHAHAAAAA, who are you kidding?)
3. Super flattering. (Can I get a “What, what” ladies?)
4. Red And White Polka-dotted.
5. (the one I could give or take) Style: Semi-vintagey.

I walked into the back warehouse room one night, looking for trashbags and saw it. Messily crumpled in a red-and-white-heap on a table amongst other swimsuits, my swimsuit called to me.

I’m not even going to lie and admit that I dropped the trashbag and ran across the warehouse to examine it. Red. White. Polka-dotted. Cute style, one piece… my size.

YES.

It was even a decent price, and my later trip to the fitting room (Not on work time, I swear!) revealed it to be the absolute perfection in bathingsuit cuts. Cute. Vintagey. Red-and-white-polka-dotty. Flattering. My size!

And now mine.

Not pictured: red lipstick wearing pin-up girl

(Did I mention that there was only one?! FATE.)
Obviously I wanted a red-and-white-polka-dotty swimsuit to match my AMAZING red ruffley umbrella, as well as my red-and-white-polka dotty $3 wedges. (all pictured) While I may never actually be a pin-up model, I content myself in knowing that I already own some of the gear needed.

Sadly, since I’m riding the bus home, the red-and-white umbrella will not actually be making an appearance, but that’s okay… my red wedges and my red lipstick will give me the strength to carry on!

I think this might evolve into another Shopping Advice Tip. ‘Go to the store, the perfect thing might be there, waiting for you, it just might be the wrong time of year, or not what you’re looking for Right At That Moment. Or it might be! Don’t worry about forcing the find.’

Orrrrr something.

Totally awesome?

or freakin’ AMAZINGLY AWESOME?

I’m thinking the 2nd one.

So, on that note, I’m proud to annoynce that I’m doing a free giveaway from the fabulous company We Love Colors!

We Love Colors is a company devoted to all things awesomely colored tights. They have over 51 different colors and are my go-to for hard-to-find styles.

I already own a few pairs of their tights, and will tell you right now that they’re awesome. Expect a full review soon, but I want to get this give-away going before I go on my epic summer vacation.

Here are the details. There are going to be two winners. (Double your chances! Better than the lottery!)

All you have to do is leave a comment with your name and email address, and tell me what kind/color of tights you would pick out, and what type of outfit you’d wear, as well.

(Like for me? I think my next purchase will be a pair of their teal tights to pair with my gray secretary skirt. How pretty would that be? Especially with a pair of charcoal gray pumps!)

Keep in mind, Ladies and Gents, that this contest is open for both Ladies and Gents. We Love Colors has a wide selection of men’s tights as well as women’s. How awesome is that?!

You may wish to check out this photo set for outfit inspiration.

So, check out their selection, and leave a comment! On Saturday, July 4 I’ll have my boss at work pick two random numbers, and those two lucky winners will recieve a pair of fabulous tights from We Love Colors for free!

Woo hoo!

Today I want to talk to you about something very specific.

And that is the subject of ugly fashion.

Now, don’t get your panties in a twist! Everyone has a very different sense of ugly fashion. Most of the time, I love ugly fashion. Then there are times I hate ugly fashion. Whenever my sister and I go shopping, we have an ever running “Ugly shirt contest” where we try to find the ugliest thing in the store. Brown beading, purple cheetah print, giant jewels in unfortunate places, you name it, we’ve found it. Most of the time we’ll find something and generally then have to try it on, just because it’s so ugly.

I found this gem while shopping with a few friends. It jumped out at me from the rack and I had to try it’s little fugly self on.

What it is: a sleeveless hoodie sweater-dress. That’s gray. And not even a good colour of gray, but an almost brown-gray. Here, see for yourself:

Okay, so the colour isn’t that bad, but remember that my skin is nearly translucent pale on the best of days.
Please tell me how this would be flattering on anyone? The little drawstring hints at a waist, but the poochy pocket right at the stomach (or, pooch, as we like to call it) kind of counteracts that, doesn’t it? Who designs this thinking it’ll be a hot thing that girls will love?

Not gonna lie, though, I was sold on the fur hood. I felt like an ICE PRINCESS! The friends I was shopping with just shuddered and told me to put The Thing away. Really now, what kind of friends are these?

So I’m not going to lie, that when I went to the local Goodwill with the ever-amazing Winona, I nearly peed my pants in excitement when I learned that we share a mutual love of ugly fashion.

During this trip, we found several awesome things, a few 80’s dresses, a rocking black sequined jacket for Nona, a military jacket for me, some shoes, a shirt that was clearly MADE for seducing old men with fancy mustaches, and some jackets.

Jackets that looked like couches.

Of COURSE we had to try them on. And see how well our camoflauge worked.

It’s like a Magic Eye! Wherreee am I?

The Elusive Daddy Likey

In conclusion: Fashion is awesome when it’s ugly and you have someone else to appreciate it with. It’s the best way to shop, in my opinion. What about you? Any awesome ugly finds lately? I’d love to start an “ugly fashion” blog/photo collection… Let’s do it!