…or else I spend it eating a solid pound of homemade guacamole, but you know how these things go.

BUT ANYWAY. Dear readers, when the Plaid Trend started appearing in my store last fall, I am not going to lie to you–I scoffed. I laughed. I rolled my eyes and wondered whether looking like a Lumberjack was back in.

So when the plaid started coming in waves of neon yellow and bright orange, I snickered. When the designers started adding random ruffles to said neon yellow and bright orange plaid dresses, I sniggered.

And then, one night, after watching the Ugliest Fashion Emergency I’d ever seen grow for six months, I sat bolt upright in bed and held my hands to my heart in shock because I realized that I liked it.

I liked it a lot.

And I wanted it.

Thus began my determined quest to find a cute plaid dress to, I don’t know, prance around like a billygoat in. My desired colours were jungle green or bright blue, but alas, no matter where I went, the other super cool, ugly fashion loving ladies had always beaten me to what I wanted.

And then, one morning at Ross, while I was struggling to decide between the leggings that said “PEACE” on the butt and the heavy-knit giraffe printed kaftan, I saw it.

A red plaid dress.
With ruffles.
In my size.

I would like to state right now that I am apparently The Blessed One when it comes to shopping, because this is the third shopping experience like this that I’ve had in the last 3 months, and it is amazing. Hopefully though, this doesn’t mean that I have to Save The Fashion World or Take It By Storm or something because being a hero is hard and also I have a blister on the back of my heel, do you have a band-aid in your purse I can borrow?

Anyhoo. I snagged that $10 dress up in an instant and decided to try it at work last week.

Pictured: me, in The Matrix. Not pictured: prancing around like a billy goat.

I paired it (ha!) with a pair of black leggings (because otherwise, HELLO CHOCHA) and my wide black belt. I also wore my red-heel-flipflops which I should probably get rid of but I love too much to do so.

For the first ten minutes I wore it, I felt like I was wearing my Grandma’s nightgown. You know the kind, right?

And then, for the next ten minutes, I felt like I should maybe have an axe or eat some pancakes.

But after the twenty minutes (which I like to call the “Time Of Doubt”) I felt like a rockstar. A night-gown wearing, maple syrup craving, axe-wielding rockstar.

So, the plaid trend? What do you think about it? Like I said, I both love and hate and don’t know what to do with it, but it’s fun and snazzy. I’m honestly just hoping that houndstooth, gold detailing and big shoulderpads come back in soon so that all of my recent goodwill finds will not go to waste.

Hair accessories.

Now, keep in mind that the last time I had long hair, the only kind of hair accessory I would tolerate was a rainbow scrunchie, and that when I graduated from high school I cut my hair so short all I needed to know was what number the razor was. Needless to say there wasn’t much going on in the way of hair accessories, besides what colour I had dyed it that week.

So, I hopped on the train into the Big City, and went to the two stores I knew could guarantee me some fabulous new hair accessories on the cheap.

Claire’s and Forever 21.

I’m completely ashamed to admit that I got suckered into spending $30 at Claire’s. First off there was this cool necklace that I liked, and then I found 2 pairs of earrings, and you know, since they always have this deal where you get like, 1/2 price off the third pair, or free, or whatever, I had to get a third pair and that was almost $24 before I even found the hair accessories in the back of the store.

Tricky bastards.

Also, I fully admit that I was rude to the shopgirl. As someone who works in customer service, I understand the fact that you’re just doing your job, but I also am a customer service worker who respects people’s space. I let you tell me about the sale as soon as I walked in the door. I declined the use of a bag. What more do you want from me? She seriously followed me around for 15 minutes repeating the same four lines over and over again, until I informed her that she was being rude. I could have done so nicer, but by the end of those 15 minutes I was a wee bit irritated.

So, I’m sorry, Claire’s shopgirl. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, but please, please, please remember that I’m not just a Customer, but a Human Being who can get irritated and yes, I heard you the first time when you said that all hot neon pink things were on sale WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP NOW.

(inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale)

Regardless. I found quite a few cute things there, at this place swamped with day-glo encrusted 13 year old girls, including but not limited to this black rose headband:

$5.50, but if you buy one you get another one for half off, OMFGGGGG

I love it! The camera doesn’t do it justice–it is, in fact, completely sparkly. Kids, if you don’t know anything about me, know this: I love sparkles. Everything needs more sparkles. The WORLD needs more sparkles. Sparkles are fun! Sparkles are cute! Ilovesparkles.

When I had my aforementioned short hair and I had dyed it black I had 2 bottles of sparkle hairspray (rainbow sparkle and silver sparkle) that I would wear every single day. Some days, it would just look like I had rainbow-coloured dandruff, or that I was prematurely graying, but it was worth it to know that my head was encrusted in sparkles.

Anyway, it’s sparkly, and I love it. After draining my bank account at Claire’s, I doggedly hiked over to Forever 21 and promptly found this lovely bow/feathered headband:

$6. It makes me feel like a flapper. I love it.

Isn’t it lovely?! As much as I love the sparkly rose headband, this one is much better for me because of my dark hair. I have a feeling that the rose headband will get stolen by my blonde older sister and she’ll rock it so hard I’ll have no choice but to give it to her on a permanent loan. This happens quite often, and is one of the reasons why I often tell people that I’m adopted and that my real family is coming to claim me from Germany soon.

If you’re wanting a totally awesome hair accessory, but would rather order one from my favourite website (also known as etsy.com), there are so many options out there for you!

The Pretty In Pink Hackle Feather Headband: $16 ; Addy Lady Amherst Feather Hairpiece: $30 .

Vanessa Red Guinea Feather headband: $10 ; Turqouise flower on a double headband: $10 .

Yellow Prarie Rose hair clip: $18 ; Cream Hydrangea with black and white guinea feathers: $15 .

…and many more! I’m so on this hair flower boat, while I was at Forever 21, I picked up a rose clip or two.
What do you think?!

I haven’t really decided yet if you’re supposed to wear them all together or not.

I purchased a pair a few months ago because of a certain tshirt design and haven’t yet had the guts to wear them out of the house.

Here they are:

I don’t know. I feel both like a ridiculous dork/ nerd (SUCCESS!) and also kind of cute, in the, ‘my Dad will look at me and say, “Uh, what the heck?” way’, if that makes any sense.

What do you think?

EDIT: The responses from my family:
My sister: “…oh gosh.”

My Dad: “OH MY GOODNESS YOU ARE SO ADORABLE!”
Me: (blinkblink) “Whoa, okay.”

After 1/2 a day’s wearing they were pretty great! They have a slight magnification, though, which screws with my vision (I already wear contacts) and kind of make me grumpy, so I ended up taking them off at work. It didn’t help that my supervisor took one look at me and said, “I am NOT listening to anything you say until you take those off!” so I complied, lol.