A better post will come tomorrow or the next day, with actual photos of my finds and adventures, but since I was in Central Oregon I must say that I’ve learned quite a bit about fashion. You might say I’ve learned everything I’ll ever need to know.

So, here are the top 5 things I didn’t know about fashion before I went to Central Oregon.

1. Turquoise matches everything.
2. Ten gallon hats are for wimps! Go’fer the 20 gallon.
3. Dreamcatchers are the new must-have for Summer AND Fall AND Winter 2009!
4. Myrtlewood earrings* will bring some “jazz” to any hum-drum outfit.
5. Nothing says, “I’m totally not a tourist!” like a hot-pink shirt with a glittery unicorn on it.

I’m still devastated the unicorn shirt didn’t come in my size.

*WHY is it always Myrtlewood? Does nobody love oak or pine jewelry?!

That was, until I drowned in the puddle the size of Lake Michigan in the middle of the kitchen.

I’m not even exaggerating! (Okay, so maybe it was the size of Lake Eyrie? And well, I did drown. That sucked. But at least here in heaven we get to wear electric blue boots, and white pants after labor day, right?!) The puddle lake stretched from the base of our refrigerator to the center of our dining room table.

After wading into the depths and reaching the freezer, we realized that the congealed sticky-mess of sludge was in fact, the ice-cream that we hadn’t finished our previous evening. There you have it. Our refrigerator, she had passed on in the night.

Rest in peace, Barbara Jean Mullhulland. You will be sorely missed.

Seriously, though? Recent scientific advances in Refrigerator technology are entirely insane! I’m talking LED screens, temp-smart compartments, etc! I’m proud to announce to the universe that we have definetly upgraded our refrigerator. I feel like I should be admitted into a higher social network. We’ll serve cheese and wine and wear strappy heels and look down on the poor neighbors who still have a Whirlpool and talk about our tennis lessons and how absoultely faaabulous Mark is with his serve.

I bet Mark is fabulous at other things. If you catch my drift.

Anyway, I would proudly like to introduce my enormous internet fan-base to the newest addition to our appliance family:

Fitzgerald Winston Newcastle II.

(Click for larger, since my handwriting is impossible.)

…maybe next week I’ll introduce you to my microwave!

(or not.)

I woke up, relieved I wasn’t obligated to drop an (assumedly) outrageous amount of money on a pair of boots, even if they were amazing and beautiful and electric blue. After a few moments of zen breathing techniques I’ve picked up from my older sister, I realized that my subconscious was telling me something. I opened up my trusty A-Z dream dictionary, and what do you know? The dictionary told me that I need a pair of electric-blue boots.

I figure my subconscious knows best, so I’m attempting to obey!

It’s surprisingly hard to find electric-blue boots. I’ve found some lovely heels, as well as some cute flats (and yes, I am ALL about the snakeskin!).

Alas, I’m starting to wonder if my boots exist. As a description: they were somewhere in between a pair of these Jessica Simpson boots and the bright red boots that Nubby Twiglet rocks often.

Only they were electric-blue. And when I say electric, I mean electric.

Since they are obviously missing, here is a flier I made with The Photoshop:

(please call!)

Sometimes I wonder what my dreams are trying to tell me, and then I realize that I don’t really mind, I just enjoy having awesome dreams.