I’ve been so clumsy lately that Winona has suggested I start a new section on my blog: “What did Brittney drop today at work?”

No promises, but I thought I’d at least start chronicling my epic clumsiness.

Things I have dropped so far:
1. An entire box full of 8 cartons of soy.

It was dark, we had ten minutes until closing. Since our store is tiny and compact, soy is most often stored on a high shelf. I pulled the heavy box down, made it almost all the way to the fridge, and it slid out of my hands. Every single carton of soy in that box exploded. All over my clean fridges, bar, floor, and apron. I came home with soy down my shirt.

2. A full bowl of mocha.

The mocha was expired and I was supposed to throw it out, and the stainless-steel container slipped out of my hands, cascading up and over in slow-motion like such things do in movies. Mocha splattered all over the ceiling, the sink, my apron, my face, and the floor. Even after washing my hands and cleaning up the mess, everything I touched for the rest of the evening had smudges of chocolate on it. I came home with mocha down my shirt.

3. More than 3 pounds of coffee beans/ground coffee.

Whether I forget to lock the espresso machine and beans cascade onto the floor, or the container of ground coffee slides in between my wet and slippery fingers or someone bumps me or something happens and things get scattered and tossed. And I come home with coffee grounds down my shirt.

4. A gallon jug of milk.

I had five frappucinos in line after a latte. You get used to slinging jugs of milk around at work, especially since speed has been our number one priority this month. Dropping a gallon is generally no big deal, especially since it happens all of the time and they normally stay intact. This one didn’t. It exploded all over my face, the espresso bar, the plexiglass dividers… and the floor. This time I came home with green tea frappucino down my shirt.

5. A full liter of freshly steamed milk.

160 degree milk, all over myself. And the best part was probably stomping on the thermometer and breaking it.

6. An Americano.

Another barista ran into me while I was pulling out a cup filled with espresso shots and the espresso went all over me. I had to endure the rest of the day looking remarkably like a palomino! And I came home with dried espresso down my shirt.

I would like to take note that while I have worked for the company for about eight months now, every single one of these incidence has taken place in the last two! The week of working-eight-days-straight will most likely be trying… I’m just hoping for no more clumsiness.