Okay Internet, I have a confession.

I have a thing for men’s jackets.

Now, I’m not kidding. I like jackets. I like men. I like men wearing jackets. Is this a fetish, or just a phase? I’m not sure, but half the time I check any dude out I’m more attracted to the well(ahem)rounded cut of his jacket than I actually am to his face.

Faces are important, though. Just sayin’.

There’s a part of me that looks at a man (any man) in a well-fitting jacket and says, ROWR.* Some might say that I want a boyfriend just so I can dress him, and while the concept of a coin operated boy can sometimes be alluring, I don’t intend on controlling just how my man wears his jacket… I just hope he appreciates well-fitted clothes, and remembers what his lady likes.

Examples of jackets I would gladly help a good-looking man out of:

Just Cavalli Hunter Green jacket. $1457 zappos.com

I mean, seriously? Who doesn’t love faux-military-style buttons? (If you don’t, I obviously wasn’t asking you.) It looks warm, provides structure (read: isn’t slouchy) and also looks hot. Sorry about the pricetag on that one, fellas. I didn’t find anything that looked super hot that wasn’t expensive! Welcome to the world of fashion: get used to it.

GF Ferre Black Military Jacket. $569.

I honestly love double-breasted jackets. They look terrible on me (I already have a pretty spectacular pair of breasts, and that is enough for me, thankyouverymuch,) but I adore how swell they look when they fit right. And that belt? Gentlemen: that belt is hot. Don’t be afraid of the belt. The belt, it can be your friend. Don’t feel “gay”. Most girls fall for the gay guys anyway. It’s like an in.

Ralph Lauren Driver Trench. $2495.

I don’t know how any woman could hold herself back from this. Things a trenchcoat screams at women, “My bathroom is clean!” “I wear jackets because I’m a responsible adult!” “If it was raining on you, I’d let you wear this!” . It also has the added bonus of making you look like you could be a detective.

Detectives are sexy. Us ladies, we sometimes like to know where we could go, should we be needing some help. That is where you come in with the trenchcoat. (“Why yes, milady: I can help you solve the mystery of the Missing Perfect Boyfriend!“)

So yes. I have a thing for jackets. A distinct, large, exciting thing for men who look great in the clothes that they’re wearing. And that’s okay. As long as people like you are around to remind me that I don’t need to marry a detective. No matter how awesome his trenchcoat is.

*Which is obviously french for, “That jacket looks great on you, but really, baby, it would look better on the floor.”