Yesterday morning was totally a normal morning. I woke up late, rolled out of bed, spent 20 minutes accessorizing an outfit only to determine that I was feeling more “springy” than “piratey” and strolled downstairs for breakfast. Totally normal morning, right?

That was, until I drowned in the puddle the size of Lake Michigan in the middle of the kitchen.

I’m not even exaggerating! (Okay, so maybe it was the size of Lake Eyrie? And well, I did drown. That sucked. But at least here in heaven we get to wear electric blue boots, and white pants after labor day, right?!) The puddle lake stretched from the base of our refrigerator to the center of our dining room table.

After wading into the depths and reaching the freezer, we realized that the congealed sticky-mess of sludge was in fact, the ice-cream that we hadn’t finished our previous evening. There you have it. Our refrigerator, she had passed on in the night.

Rest in peace, Barbara Jean Mullhulland. You will be sorely missed.

Seriously, though? Recent scientific advances in Refrigerator technology are entirely insane! I’m talking LED screens, temp-smart compartments, etc! I’m proud to announce to the universe that we have definetly upgraded our refrigerator. I feel like I should be admitted into a higher social network. We’ll serve cheese and wine and wear strappy heels and look down on the poor neighbors who still have a Whirlpool and talk about our tennis lessons and how absoultely faaabulous Mark is with his serve.

I bet Mark is fabulous at other things. If you catch my drift.

Anyway, I would proudly like to introduce my enormous internet fan-base to the newest addition to our appliance family:

Fitzgerald Winston Newcastle II.

(Click for larger, since my handwriting is impossible.)

…maybe next week I’ll introduce you to my microwave!

(or not.)